The Other Brother

There’s a temptation lurking around out there called “the other brother.” You know the brother in the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. You know the bulk of the story. The prodigal son demanded his share of his father’s money. Despite his father’s strategy, the son took it upon himself to do things the way he wanted. He lived it up, spent it all, and found himself dissatisfied and stuck. His ways did, indeed, lead to destruction (Proverbs 14:12). Meanwhile, the brother continued on with the plan the father had laid out for him. He felt pretty good about himself with his choice. He found his life comfortable and at peace. (1 Peter 3:10-12). The son came home and suddenly, that peace and comfort the other brother had felt was replaced with envy and pride. When we dissect the situation, here’s what we find:

1. The other brother misunderstood the father. He thought his love was measured by the things you do. The brother was in the fields doing what the father asked, but the fattest calf was killed for the son who was in the casino doing everything but what the father asked. This made him angry (Luke 15:27, 29-30).

2. The father begged the other brother to change his mind about the younger son. The other brother refused to accept a celebration for the son when a consequence was clearly the answer (Luke 15:28).

3. The father never stopped loving either of his sons (Luke 15:31-32).

I was going through a difficult time in a relationship and felt like the Holy Spirit was leading me to 1 Corinthians 13. I had been to enough weddings to know that that is the “love chapter.” I could practically quote it. But what I discovered was the context of why Paul was teaching the congregation in Corinth about this topic. As I read the lines, I realized something. “Love doesn’t want what belongs to others…love is not proud…love does not dishonor people, look out for its own interests, is not angry…” This chapter isn’t the love chapter; it’s the anti-jealousy chapter. The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s jealousy. 

Love is the singular most important fruit of the Spirit, yet, because we live in a world that is so twisted in its thinking, we can become so easily confused by its meaning. God’s love is unconditional. He loved us regardless of what we did. I know this because while we were knee deep in our addictions and our idols, He sent His Son to die for us (Romans 5:8). When the prodigal son was in the casinos, the father never took his eyes off of him. When he was living it up at the bars, the father never took his eyes off of him. He had to love him from a distance, sure, but he still loved him. 

The other brother, however, was enraged with his decisions. How did it make his family look? How could he be so selfish to leave him with all the work? How could he leave his father after everything his father had done for him? Day after day, he sat in the fields and let these bitter thoughts swirl.

The other brother had an epic opportunity to stand next to the father while his brother was lost. He had the opportunity to adapt to his father’s attitude, but because he chose to play the victim and stay in his own bitterness, we read that the other brother, too, was lost after the prodigal son was found. The Bible doesn’t indicate if he ever went into the party or not.

If we claim to be Christians, then we are accepting the fact that we are followers of Jesus Christ, Himself. We have signed up to be transformed in our thinking and our actions based on His example. His attitude towards people who want to do things their way instead of His suggested way is one we should adapt. His attitude is simply this: 

• He loves them (John 3:16).

• He wants them to stop their selfishness and come back (Acts 2:38).

• He hates what they’re doing (1 Corinthians 6:9-10) because He knows a better life for them exists.

• Because He loves them, He doesn’t want them to be lost (1 Timothy 2:4).

As humans, this takes work to adapt to this attitude because our natural instinct is to wallow in our hurt. If your attitude is anything other than love for your lost brother, then you can even start to misinterpret scripture to justify your point. Love isn’t about being right; it’s about being righteous. Love isn’t about being fair; it’s about being unfair by giving grace even when justice should be served. It can’t be because love is not prideful; it’s anti-jealousy. 

If you are in the position of the other brother, and you are in the field this week working as a servant of the Lord, knowing you have a brother who is lost, try three things to keep your mind pure:

• Remember that Jesus died for him, too, even in this detrimental state of his life.

• Remember the life you lived before Jesus came to sanctify you.

• Pray for your brother to come home so that you can throw him a party. 

We are people pleaser’s. The world will convince us that it’s easier to just accept what the brother is doing.Then it feels like we are loving him once again (Galatians 1:10). But the father never ran to the casino or to the pig sty. He started running when the son started running towards him. But he started praying for him way before he ever left. I know you’re hurt. Could it be possible that we’re hurt for the wrong reasons? We’re hurt because they lied, manipulated, and were selfish. 1 Corinthians 6:10 says people who practice these lifestyles will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. And THAT fact should make us feel a great deal of hurt. Because we love them with the love of the Lord. Verse 11 reminds us that we used to be in that boat, but someone turned to love instead of anti-jealousy and prayed for us to come back home so that they could throw us a party. Other brothers, we got some work to do.